LET'S TALK BODY WORTH
Amidst this self-love study I’m offering for June, I’ve been thinking a lot about the value of my body’s physicality…
In an ideal and loving universe we would all agree that the body’s outward appearance, does not inherently equal one’s value as a human.
I believe this to be true, as a general concept. Our bodies are just the icing on the cake: a cake which is ultimately filled with delicious pieces of our personality like generosity, humor, kindness, intelligence, etc...
As a dancer, I’ve had many “lecture moments” by esteemed professionals in the industry. Lectures where I’ve been sat down and told “In this career, you as a dancer are always replaceable (a.k.a. your body is always replaceable). However, YOU as a human are never replaceable”. I have used this anecdote time and time again to soothe the rejections I have already faced in my short lifetime as a working artist. It’s nice to hold this saying closely and find peace in the positive energy that naturally ensues.
Recently though, I’ve poked a hole in this nicely constructed solution. I’ve started to intensely question from a dancers’ perspective, and from the perspective of others who work in image driven careers, if it is actually possible to separate appearance from success?
In other words, will the dancing body I live in right now always be viewed as replaceable if I don’t change it to become one that isn’t so easily overlooked?
How we dance is one issue. How our body looks while we dance and how the person who watches us finds it satisfying or dissatisfying, is another issue. Does it even matter who you are as a unique artist, if your “energy” is not enough to compensate for what is truly desired physically of you?
Now, there are some things in our dancing life we can shape.
We can work on our technique. We can improve our endurance. We can build muscle. We can become a versatile performer by studying various styles. However, there are many things that you will never really be able to shape naturally, but if we must, the “shaping” becomes an unhealthy act of forcible molding. Body types are one of these things. I hate to ever think that I have to restrict myself to a place that my body doesn’t want to live at, for something that I love so much in its purest form. Yet, that is the world that we live in. Whether you’re a dancer, a model, an actor...these careers revolve around aesthetics. It is simply part of the job description. The bigger question here is...
Where has the line been DRAWN in terms of what is beauty, is healthy, is pleasing, is good or bad aesthetics?
And even more specifically...WHO decides where the line is drawn?”
One of the most disheartening parts I found while breaking down my own relationship with dance body culture, was realizing how much of it is/was internalized misogyny. Who created ballet and posture ideals? Men. Who created the foot wrecking pointe shoe to make women become graceful, elevated creatures? Men, again. Yet, who perpetuates the continuation of a culture that (though, I hate to say it) still leans towards “dancer fit” and perfectly polished? In my opinion, everyone.
I think that we, as individuals of society, have given ourselves too much permission. Too much permission to reject what we don’t think is worthy to be seen, but embrace with open arms the things we know to be “correct” because they are familiar images. As consumers we can fix this, but we have to make the effort.
There are also so many grey areas with what is and isn’t an appearance driven career…
I recall a time recently where a close friend, who is currently in the medical field, recounted frustration she had experienced while working under one particular male doctor. This doctor would actively make comments on her “tired” appearance...saying things like “makeup would make you look less sick” directly in front of patients. Now, did this mean that my friend, (presenting herself the way she did) was any less capable of her job than if she came in with a fresh face of makeup? Of course not. How silly is that! And although my friend did not let this doctor ruin her experience at that facility, those comments were certainly not encouraging. Advancing in the medical profession, out of any profession truly, should not be based on appearances. People are dealing with life or death situations on a daily basis, they shouldn’t have time to be concerned about the color of lip gloss (or lack thereof) that a professional wears. Even more so, was it this man’s place to say these things? No.
Is it anyone’s place? Also, no.
Some general questions to ponder are…
Can you actually put a monetary value on appearance?
If a realtor sells more houses because they look more “put together”, insinuating that everything from their shoes to the nice arm muscles they’ve sculpted align with associating them as a productive and trustworthy person…I guess maybe, yes? I mean heck, when I have higher sales waitressing at a restaurant because I wore my hair a certain way and did my face up a little more, then also yes.
And if that’s the case.
Does being a certain size or looking a certain way really help you accelerate in your line of work or field? Does it actually, despite popular wellness preaching, help determine your worth as a professional? If so, do we opt to “fix” ourselves because it may increase our chances of fitting the mold that someone else already has in their head?
Opinion: Am I hurting my chances at opportunity because of not forcibly molding the way I look?
Counter opinion: Is it ethical to feed into a perpetuated belief system and disturb my body’s quiet health and comfortable wellbeing if it will, in turn, bring me profit and success?
One question pops into my brain. It quiets the idea of adjusting myself to become a “more suitable” dancing body...
Is there anything interesting that cannot be said with a body type that doesn’t necessarily fit a mold?
For instance, my biggest qualm with the ballet world is that it mostly pitches itself around beauty. Which, to be fair, this is what draws people to it and entices them to come to see ballet. (This image of female ballerinas dancing like floating fairies on a stage.) The ballet dancer of this century equals the epitome of delicate power for both men and women. However, this singular idea is also one of the only ideas classical ballet companies exude. Classical ballet holds a monopoly of its own: people love to pay to see the beautiful shapes They’re not the only form that operates around similar body ideals. Some modern and jazz based companies have common trajectories as well.
To backtrack...
If a dancer doesn’t necessarily have to fulfill that rigid “fairy body quota” there are so many other possibilities for expression, right? Lovely lines and tricks are great, but what if we want to make a piece about our political climate?
Does it really matter what body is speaking the movement, as long as their physical voice is heard by viewers?
In my opinion, absolutely not. I firmly believe that if work is interesting enough, you don’t have to market it with aesthetically pleasing pictures of half naked bodies. I urge dancers reading this to not let whatever body ideals you may confront in your professional lifetime, consume your purpose to learn and grow. If all you do as a dancer is stare at yourself in the mirror while in class or at the gym or in the bathroom at work, wishing your body could be different, you’re hurting yourself because you are not present in the things that you can actually control.
When we worry too much about becoming X, Y, and Z, we forget about developing ourselves as A, B and C.
And then, when you’re the best person in your field and you’ve blown out your competition and created your own monopoly, you can look back at all the work you’ve done instead of the “worry” about the things you will never get to do! I don’t think the solution to this will ever be solid, but I do think it starts with you and me and continuing the conversation that is already happening.
With gratitude,
Christina
(* As a side note about myself. I am very committed as an artist to making engaging work that both speaks to and challenges my audience. The human experience is certainly not all one flavor or color or musical tone. To me, a good dancer is a good dancer. No question there. )