THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED

(A few weeks ago)

Picture this.

I am walking down the street, frustrated by the morning’s string of events on my way to work.

A missed alarm.

Two failed attempts to pick up breakfast on the way.

I’m sweating through my shirt!

Anddddd I forgot to do that thing I was supposed to do last night.

Oops, guess I didn’t put gym clothes in my bag either.

I firmly press each individual finger to my thumb (inhale) and then exhale (release). 

(This exercise always brings me to a peaceful state of mind. It helps me re-evaluate my stressors.)

It’s important to remember…our days are not required to start well.

Our mornings are not obligated to reveal any satisfying sparks of progress or go “the way they should.”

And here I was.

Sprinting to work that morning with a full head of fuzz.

Disappointed in myself for so many silly reasons.

Life, as we neglect to remember, doesn’t actually owe us anything…*

People use, make, and waste opportunity all the time. 

Nothing can validate the idea that you deserve more than the person next to you. 

The most generous humans among us get sick or injured or die, all the time. 

In fact, we all die, and nothing can stop that.  

We use a lot of things to distract ourselves from this fact.

We live in sheltered housing and buy new toys and take flights to wonderful places. We cultivate beautiful experiences for comfort or for entertainment...but we are not owed these luxuries. We feed into these ideas that we should have, really do need, badly want, etc., because in our minds, it is our right. However, it is not our right. These aspects of human life are not aligned with our reality* that is actually quite primal.

When you accept the fact that life doesn’t actually owe you anything, you also realize that “to dwell” is useless.

How can you dwell on things that exist outside of your control?

Why would you dwell, when happy accidents can also come out of having to reroute perfect plans?

Playing devil’s advocate here…

 Many would argue that most of your life is very much in your control: that you have the power to take your life in your hands and shape it anyway you want. 

I can attest to this a bit, when I look at the facts.

Sometimes I don’t make good use of the time I do have. I don’t squeeze an opportunity dry. I neglect to fully pursue something that has potential. I can be lazy. So yes, sometimes the stress from events or my tendencies to dwell, are attached to this.

Then again, there are the curveballs. 

Those things that happen which you could never predict. (You know the moments I’m talking about…)

Moments where you have to step back and maybe let things happen…

It’s important to take a step back.

Evaluate.

Distinguish what is worth fretting over and what is truly out of your hands.

So, sure.

Hold yourself accountable, but don’t forget, life might still mess things up.