THAT "THING"
What is preventing you
from doing that thing?
We all know what I’m talking about.
You know…the “thing!”
(Add whisper, wink, and quotation fingers...)
Immediately something should pop into your head.
The answer is different for everyone of course...
Maybe it is quitting your job and finding a new one.
Maybe it is finishing that book you half wrote before it slowly slipped away from your conscious efforts.
Maybe it is breaking up with your significant other, but you are complacent with the routine you have built together.
Maybe it is better managing your time, because you are really very busy... yet somehow you always make time to further your relationship with Netflix.
These are all on a similar level.
I’m not talking drastic life change, like moving across the world to permanently live out your life as a monk.
I’m talking about the things we talk about to other people and say we are going to do, but don’t follow through with. The things we “wish” we could manage, yet our life doesn’t split at the seams if we don’t. Which, in turn, are why these ideas remain as ideas rather than actions. There’s no punishment. Well, other than a spark of internal resentment that seems to creep up on us every other week or so: even this quickly fades, overshadowed by more immediate matters.
So what is it?
Does a fear of rejection or failure ring a bell? It could also be a lack of knowing how to make the right kind of space in our life. For instance, sometimes we get caught up in pursuing the things that don’t deserve our attention first and accidentally pushing off the things that do. Is it actually not doable against other pressing commitments or is it just crippling laziness ? This brings me to my next question…
Is the excuse legitimate or not?
I’ve been thinking about consistently writing this blog for some time now. I know my excuse is quite illegitimate. I hadn’t started it because I was unsure that the outcome would be worth the effort. Summed up this means, “Will anyone actually care to read this thing I produce?” You see how this excuse makes no sense though. How do I know anyone will care, if I never release any content for them to care about? Sometimes our excuses are legitimate. Sometimes we really are too busy. It happens. Chances are, if you are reading this and feel a chord strike, you actually do have time.
Does it count if I “think” about doing something...
When we think about doing something it helps take away the guilt of not doing it. We convince ourselves that by thinking and talking about it we are fulfilling its life. Thinking can turn into weakly trying and has no guarantee of a linear progression. Doing is very clear. This realization came to me a few months ago when I would often “think” about going to the gym or class while laying in bed. So to process the habit, I wrote this and stuck it up on my wall:
“Though the link between trying and achieving is relative to the individual, there is really only doing or not doing.”
Instead of congratulating myself for contemplating the idea or be soothed by the mental exertion I used while trying to motivate my body, I challenged myself to see what was actually happening. And the answer was...nothing. Nothing was happening. I was still in bed! The definition of achievement holds a unique weight for everyone, sure, but there’s a difference between holding yourself to a certain standard and not showing up.
Using this phrase as a physical motivator worked for a few months. That is, until I got injured and remembered about all those other projects I had previously tossed around dabbling in. I never made time for them before. Suddenly, I had ALL of the time and none of the drive...
Motivation comes in waves, true. However, we can’t neglect this important step in order to unlock it...identifying our underlying blockages and taking away their power. My blockage? Self-doubt. Not to mention an aversion to investing myself in yet another “thing” that doesn’t have any promise of positive outcome, when pretty much everything in my post-grad life has operated in this fashion. I had forgotten that I always have the choice to say to myself, “this ends now or this starts now” regardless of whatever is going on around me. We have better control over our outcomes if we carve our path with thoughtful yes’s and no’s.
Most importantly, you have to pinpoint the WHY.
Why do you want to do this? Why does this keep coming up? The WHY reason is always bigger than the task at hand and deeper than a surface level desire. If your “thing” is finishing that book you started, it is not just about completing the book to say you did it. Maybe you are grappling with a lost dream of becoming an author. Maybe you started the book at a time where your life was very different and to return to the book means accepting your life is not the same now. Maybe you love what you have already written, but you doubt that you have the talent to finish it with the same level of execution. Pinpoint the WHY and you will be able to make peace with the “thing” that hangs over you. Making peace with ourselves is sorely underrated.
So this is where I leave you…
Dig into what is preventing you from doing that thing.Determine if it is a legitimate excuse. (Be harsh)Make a promise to yourself to stop thinking about doing.Take away the blockage’s power.Pinpoint the deeper WHY and get that fire going!
Now go be great and go do that thing! :)